Mary Berry's Light Salad Dressing

Normally I don't get all giddy about salad dressings, in my mind it takes something a bit special to beat salad cream, but I've found a few recently that are completely gorgeous. The first one has been knocked up by Mary Berry, purveyor of premium quality dressings. The woman is a genius. You would never know that this was a low fat product. The dressing is surprisingly sweet, although this is balanced by a little bit of heat from the mustard. To finish it off, and add a bit more flavour, some marjoram and basil have been thrown in there. It has a luscious mouth feel to it as well. It works equally well when put on a bed of rocket or on a mixture of cannellini beans and chick peas. I'm sure that you will be able to find many other uses.

Well worth tracking down at your local salad dressing stockist. Beware though, Mary Berry has been really busy and has another even more gorgeous dressing up her sleeve. Review coming soon...

Top 5 Clog Boats

 

I thought it was about time that we had the obligatory Clog Boat chart, so here we go. Here are five lovely specimens for your eyes to gorge upon.

5. You can probably tell why this one is propping up the chart. It's disturbing on a fundamental level. Small children should not ride around crammed into a small clog boat, dressed in dalmatian skin headgear. On a pool of green sick. You can stick a white dove to the sail if you like, it still doesn't make it acceptable. Let's move on quickly...

 

4. This looks more like it. A proper wooden clog, nice windmill image - hand-painted, with three masts and rigging. Shame they've been spray painted gold and it's missing the red protective mast topper; that could cause nasty eye-spikage. Why oh why did the owner decide to take a photograph of their beautiful Clog Boat in their dungeon? I'm not interested what seedy masks they wear in their leisure time. They can keep their specialist activities to themselves; Clog Boats and dungeons do not mix. Next.

3. You can tell instantly that this one is aimed more at the Liberace end of the market. Shiny. Sadly, another example of someone not caring for their Clog Boat adequately. Why would anyone take a photo of their Clog Boat when it has a diamond missing, a stained sail and the enamel is chipped of the two romantically entwined lovers? Have it properly restored and then I might have another look. Anyway, it's not even a proper 3D clog. A pristine example would have been higher up the chart, but unfortunately, even with a beautiful fabric background, it's destined for mid-table obscurity.

2. This is so close to Clog Boat perfection. It's got everything you could possibly want: the hand-painted windmill scene on the clog, another hand-painted image on the sail (pity it isn't another Clog Boat), exquisite detailing around the edge of the sails and most importantly, nice tight rigging. When you've got a Clog Boat this great you think that you'd put the effort in and photograph it properly. Nope, slap it on your seventies tan leatherette sofa and snap away. Criminals like this don't deserve a Clog Boat of this quality. Philistines.

1. Here we have it - very nearly the holy grail of Clog Boats. This is in absolute pristine condition and they've actually shown it the love it deserves at the photography stage. Obviously it would benefit from the edge detailing on the sail that number two displayed so proudly but I'll let it off because the owners obviously love their treasured Clog Boat as if it was their own child. This really is tip-top cream of the top drawer crop.

 

 

If anyone thinks they have a better specimen take a proper picture of it and leave us a comment. I'm always on the look out for the perfect Clog Boat.

evlkeith

Top 10 Facial Hair

Facial hair is funny at the best of times. Whether its a pointy little beard or a massive bushy moustache, it never fails to raise a chuckle at the Obscure World offices. But enter the seedy world of competition beard and 'tache growing and it's a whole different ball game, it's less funny and more disturbing. To be a professional facial hairist it looks like it's a distinct advantage to be either ginger or from a Germanic country, preferably Germany itself. If you are a ginger German you've got the whole thing sewn up.

So, in memory of Magnum P.I.'s world class lip warmer, we present the top ten in facial hair. Sit back, relax and let your eyes take in some beardy excelence. Enjoy!

(Admittedly, this one is not strictly facial hair, but it's clever, entertaining and funny in a gormless kind of way.)

10. This one effortlessy blurs the line between hair and moustache. Note the ginger tinge in that bushy monstrousity. Is is just me or is his hair on back to front?



9. Not a competion grower, but he definitely should be for bushy-ness alone. Note the ginger tinge to the tache again. Fashion fans should note that camouflage gear is never a good look unless you're a soldier.

8. Not to my personal tastes but a seriously good effort. Like a googly in cricket his 'tache moves both ways. Why would you do such a thing? 

 

7. Possibly the best ever execution of the 'multiple ring' moustache. Is that the hint of Bavarian national dress in the jacket? Ideal for amplifying your voice for people standing behind you.

6. The best of the amateurs, but I have my doubts this one is real. Lovely colour though as he goes for the ginger vote and top marks for the asymmetrical combing.

5.  This could actually be number 10 with a hat on, number 6 who's extended into sideburns or a completely different chap entirely. Great gingerness, bushy-ness and the goatee is a lovely touch to cap off the look. I'd ditch the hat though.

4. Good Grief! What a whopper! You can see the pride he has in that behemoth as he twiddles the point to perfection.

3. Amazing volume in those sideburns makes this a sure-fire winner. You can't hide the hint of ginger sparking in the hair and 'tache. Lovely smile too.

2. Beautifully symmetrical and coiffured to Crufts standards this three tiered affair is hardly original, but the joy is in the execution. I'm sure he's Austrian.

1. The master beard modeller comes up trumps with this windmill inspired creation. A cheeky smile, some lederhosen and a large hat complete this sexy and stylish look. But wait, there's more...

He's also versatile enough to make a model of the Brandenburg Gate out of his beard too! Check it out for accuracy world landmark fans.