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Saturday, 8 September 2012

Top 10 Facial Hair

Facial hair is funny at the best of times. Whether its a pointy little beard or a massive bushy moustache, it never fails to raise a chuckle at the Obscure World offices. But enter the seedy world of competition beard and 'tache growing and it's a whole different ball game, it's less funny and more disturbing. To be a professional facial hairist it looks like it's a distinct advantage to be either ginger or from a Germanic country, preferably Germany itself. If you are a ginger German you've got the whole thing sewn up.

So, in memory of Magnum P.I.'s world class lip warmer, we present the top ten in facial hair. Sit back, relax and let your eyes take in some beardy excelence. Enjoy!

(Admittedly, this one is not strictly facial hair, but it's clever, entertaining and funny in a gormless kind of way.)

10. This one effortlessy blurs the line between hair and moustache. Note the ginger tinge in that bushy monstrousity. Is is just me or is his hair on back to front?

9. Not a competion grower, but he definitely should be for bushy-ness alone. Note the ginger tinge to the tache again. Fashion fans should note that camouflage gear is never a good look unless you're a soldier.

8. Not to my personal tastes but a seriously good effort. Like a googly in cricket his 'tache moves both ways. Why would you do such a thing? 

7. Possibly the best ever execution of the 'multiple ring' moustache. Is that the hint of Bavarian national dress in the jacket? Ideal for amplifying your voice for people standing behind you.

6. The best of the amateurs, but I have my doubts this one is real. Lovely colour though as he goes for the ginger vote and top marks for the asymmetrical combing.

5.  This could actually be number 10 with a hat on, number 6 who's extended into sideburns or a completely different chap entirely. Great gingerness, bushy-ness and the goatee is a lovely touch to cap off the look. I'd ditch the hat though.

4. Good Grief! What a whopper! You can see the pride he has in that behemoth as he twiddles the point to perfection.

3. Amazing volume in those sideburns makes this a sure-fire winner. You can't hide the hint of ginger sparking in the hair and 'tache. Lovely smile too.

2. Beautifully symmetrical and coiffured to Crufts standards this three tiered affair is hardly original, but the joy is in the execution. I'm sure he's Austrian.

1. The master beard modeller comes up trumps with this windmill inspired creation. A cheeky smile, some lederhosen and a large hat complete this sexy and stylish look. But wait, there's more...

He's also versatile enough to make a model of the Brandenburg Gate out of his beard too! Check it out for accuracy world landmark fans.

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