Top 5 Clog Boats

 

I thought it was about time that we had the obligatory Clog Boat chart, so here we go. Here are five lovely specimens for your eyes to gorge upon.

5. You can probably tell why this one is propping up the chart. It's disturbing on a fundamental level. Small children should not ride around crammed into a small clog boat, dressed in dalmatian skin headgear. On a pool of green sick. You can stick a white dove to the sail if you like, it still doesn't make it acceptable. Let's move on quickly...

 

4. This looks more like it. A proper wooden clog, nice windmill image - hand-painted, with three masts and rigging. Shame they've been spray painted gold and it's missing the red protective mast topper; that could cause nasty eye-spikage. Why oh why did the owner decide to take a photograph of their beautiful Clog Boat in their dungeon? I'm not interested what seedy masks they wear in their leisure time. They can keep their specialist activities to themselves; Clog Boats and dungeons do not mix. Next.

3. You can tell instantly that this one is aimed more at the Liberace end of the market. Shiny. Sadly, another example of someone not caring for their Clog Boat adequately. Why would anyone take a photo of their Clog Boat when it has a diamond missing, a stained sail and the enamel is chipped of the two romantically entwined lovers? Have it properly restored and then I might have another look. Anyway, it's not even a proper 3D clog. A pristine example would have been higher up the chart, but unfortunately, even with a beautiful fabric background, it's destined for mid-table obscurity.

2. This is so close to Clog Boat perfection. It's got everything you could possibly want: the hand-painted windmill scene on the clog, another hand-painted image on the sail (pity it isn't another Clog Boat), exquisite detailing around the edge of the sails and most importantly, nice tight rigging. When you've got a Clog Boat this great you think that you'd put the effort in and photograph it properly. Nope, slap it on your seventies tan leatherette sofa and snap away. Criminals like this don't deserve a Clog Boat of this quality. Philistines.

1. Here we have it - very nearly the holy grail of Clog Boats. This is in absolute pristine condition and they've actually shown it the love it deserves at the photography stage. Obviously it would benefit from the edge detailing on the sail that number two displayed so proudly but I'll let it off because the owners obviously love their treasured Clog Boat as if it was their own child. This really is tip-top cream of the top drawer crop.

 

 

If anyone thinks they have a better specimen take a proper picture of it and leave us a comment. I'm always on the look out for the perfect Clog Boat.

evlkeith